When the iPhone first came out, several of my good friends ran out and purchased them. We decided to wait for Apple to work out all the bugs and for our current phone contract to expire before making the transition. This was extremely difficult because ALL that our friends wanted to talk about was the iPhone. No matter what we were doing (dining, driving, watching a movie, using the restroom), the iPhone with all its superpowers, somehow wormed its way into the conversation. At first I was jealous and felt out of the loop, but I soon began to hate the iPhone and everyone who owned it. My friends stuggled to learn to use the newest apps and plagued us with discussions of their trials. While attending a conference in Houston last year, we were forced to rely on a friend's iPhone for restaurant reviews and driving directions to Galveston. The iPhone misadvised us about a restaurant that we had looked forward to visiting and confused the hell out of us as we tried to exit the city limits for an excursion to the beach. My hatred grew exponentially.
Before proceeding, I must admit that I couldn't help but compare these individuals who talked incessantly about their iPhones to parents who can't shut up about their children. Think about it. The expression, "Check out my new iPhone app! Isn't it cool?" is a lot like, "Look at the latest pictures of my kids. Aren't they cute?" There are plenty of other analogous phrases, but you get my point. When you don't have little kids or an iPhone, you really don't care to hear about "what their poop looks like" or that "you can use it horizonatally AND vertically." Its all the same when you can't relate.
Well, needless to say, I have turned into someone whom I despise. I have a toddler at home now and I catch myself boring others to suicide by forcing them to look at her latest picture or listen to a funny story about her. I still don't have an iPhone (that contract still hasn't expired), but I pre-ordered an iPad and it was delivered to the house on Saturday. I have taken it to work and parties, forcing others to watch it do its tricks. But today, I became someone even more horrific than the individuals I described above: I cornered several coworkers and forced them to look at all the cool things that my kid can do, all of which had been uploaded to my new iPad. The torture was twofold.