I am skipping Rule #8 for the time because the topic addressed in Rule #9 is receiving media attention (once again). Check out this blog on the New York Times website for a heated debate on the topic (something I am not trying to insight here).
At my house, we spank. We aren't embarrassed about it. We don't try to hide it from our family, friends, or colleagues because we believe that it works and sometimes its the only thing that seems to! Don't get me wrong - we utilize other disciplinary methods as well, but sometimes find it necessary to bust out the ol' paddle (BTW, Don is a top-notch paddle-maker and has made several for our close friends!).
"This is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you." I have never believed this statement. It doesn't hurt my feelings one bit to administer a swat or two to the booty if the occasion warrants such an act. Afterwards, I sometimes feel bad about having to do it, but never regretful.
My husband and I were both spanked as kids and we both needed and deserved them. Neither of us received many, but when we did, our parents made them count. Did the spankings make us violent? No. Did the spankings make us resent our parents? No.
We do it a little differently than our folks. We use a paddle or hand to the bottom (This works best if you catch the kid off guard and just snatch them up if the behavior persists after a warning or two). My mom liked to use whatever household item was closest to her (hairbrush, flyswat, belt, extension cord, wooden spoon....I guess it depended on the room of the house that the misbehavior took place in). Sound like abuse? Na. Mom was/is small in stature and couldn't spank very hard. I usually made it to the next room before bursting into laughter. Child abuse is having to cut your own switch, my grandmother's preferred tool of discipline. Anyway, we remain calm and spanking is used only as a last resort, but again, we don't feel bad about it.
So, there's my stance on corporal punishment. You can agree or disagree and that's your prerogative. I will still respect you tomorrow.
In closing, the advice for Rule #9 is as follows: "Don't bear the burden of doling out punishment alone when you can just as easily pass the buck to the man who had the luxury of avoiding the little demons all day." In other words, if spanking makes your feel like a bad mother, make your husband do it.